Just wanted to update that I’ve started seriously dieting again, and this time it seems to be sticking. I’ve stuck to my diet for over a week now. I started last Sunday, and it’s now Monday. The scale yesterday was the lowest it’s been since I started last year, and I’m down another belt notch. I am struggling with cravings, especially with cravings of wanting to go out to eat. But for the most part, I am okay. This is how I felt last time, until I went to Tom & Chee and fucked up everything. I think all the delicious, fatty food just sent me into a downward spiral of binging, and I’m doing my best to avoid doing that again.
I have plans to go out to eat this Friday, so I guess it’ll be a good test. I’ll have to try my hardest to stay within my calories, and get back on track the next day. I think maybe I can really do it this time. I’ve also decided to train for a 5K, and being thinner will definitely help with that, so hopefully that will motivate me as well.
What’s different this time? Well, the SO and I had yet another talk about how I always say I’m going to lose weight and then don’t. It’s not that he cares that I’m fat, it’s that he gets his hopes up that I’m going to do something and then I don’t. He was upset, and I want to make it better. I want to actually stick to my word. And I know in my head that if I just stick to it, the weight will come off, because it does feel sometimes like it’s impossible. But I know I can do it, and I’m going to do it. I’m already down 20lbs (I stalled back in May). I just have to keep going.
The other thing that’s different is that I’m just trying not to think about it. I don’t agonize over what I can’t have, and I’ve cut back on snacking. I’ve limited soda to weekends only, and I’m trying to cut down on candy and other sweets during the week as well. I plan out my breakfast, lunch, and snacks a week in advance (I decide on dinner the day of or the day before) and I’m actually eating nutritious food, whereas in the past I was just eating whatever sounded good. I’m trying to do that whole “eat healthy 80% of the time” thing. I think that intaking proper nutrients, combined with proper planning, is really what’s helping me be successful this time. I’ve also gotten really good at saying no to all the delicious snacks people offer me at the office.
Additionally, I’ve taken up new hobbies. I recently tried a few new video games with the SO, and I’ve been practicing piano. These things keep me busy and make it a little easier not to eat. They also make me happier, and it’s easier to ignore cravings when I’m not stressed or unhappy.